You
know sometimes I read the paper and think that there are folks out there among
us that just don’t have enough to do in a day. For example, last week for the
first time in about 30 years or so, seven heavenly bodies will all be lined up
in what some call the "Grand Alignment." The moon, sun, Mercury,
Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn will all be basically lined up within 20 or so
degrees of each other. Now, some people have sat around and decided that we were
to be prepared for massive tidal waves, earthquakes and killer sunspots. Some of
these people are concerned over the melting of all of the polar caps and the
earth wobbling off its axis. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have more to
do on a daily basis than to sit around and speculate on whether or not this is
going to happen.
On the other hand, what if it was? What is
the Sam Hill could any of us do about it? Run? Where? Do what when we get there?
Put a pot on our heads and run around yelling…"The sky is
falling…" Obviously, if any of the aforementioned catastrophes were to
occur we would all have a bad day. The scariest one is the earth moving off its
axis theory. Where would we go? I suppose we’d just be flung off into space (I
think we’re in space now) into some other weird orbit…..Now, that’s would
really screw the seasons up big time. Imagine if we were shot out into some
orbit that took us out around Jupiter and then flung us back close to the sun.
We’d have 3-4 hundred years of winter and then 3-4 hundred years of
summertime. Plus, we’d all either have colds or sunburns. Nope this event
would not be pleasant; but then again what could we do to prevent it from
happening in the first place?
Nothing. So, why worry about something beyond
our control? I guess we could just put on more sweaters for the first 50 years
or so, but beyond that I don’t think I have to worry about it anyway. That is
unless, moving through space slows down the aging process. Anyway, who the heck
has time to keep up with this stuff? Don’t these people work or do something
constructive? I’ll bet they are a big hit at a party or the church social.
Here you are at your daughters wedding and some cosmic pessimist sits down next
to you and asks you a question like….
"Well, I guess you know that Maui is
about to be hit by massive tidal waves the day after your daughter
arrives." This kind of information is sure to keep you in a jovial mood.
You’re already depressed over the cost of the wedding and concerned over this
creep of a boy she’s marrying. Of course a lot of people like this kind of
information and can’t wait to tell you about all the bad that’s going to
happen. These are the same people at breakfast who read all of the gory details
of last nights murder while you’re trying to get those scrambled eggs to stay
down. They are the first to call you when some terrible and gruesome happens
anywhere within 2,000 miles of where you live. We can’t help what happens in
New York City. Life is tough enough without all of the doom and gloom that a lot
of people just love to discuss all of the time.
We used to live next door to a woman, who had
had something go wrong with her house when it was being built. Her misery became
her personality. The sad part about it was we think she liked who she became.
After hearing the story of this construction problem for the 100th
time, you got to the point where you avoided her since that was all she could
talk about. Anyway, back to the planets in alignment problem. Seems to me that
the last time this happened we entered into something I recall as the Age of
Aquarius or something like that. It was the beginning of tie dyed clothes and
Afro haircuts. Free love and rock music…..
Now I’m certain some people will argue with
me that this was the beginning of the end for America. I can’t comment on this
aspect since I was going bald about that time and Afro hairdos didn’t look
real good on my head. What is really scary to think about, even more than tidal
waves and earthquakes, is to think that we might return to leisure suits and
those awful clothes we wore in the late 60’s and 70’s. If we do manage to
miss their return, not to worry, these same planets and stuff will be lined up
once again in the year 2438. I think I’ll miss it. Keep those cards and
letters coming….
Send all to
