|
Every
once in awhile, I think it’s my duty to issue a sort of public service
announcement mainly to young men who may have just gotten married or who are
about to do so. This is not meant to stir up any ill feelings of any sort, but
to just emphasize a few things that I’ve observed after being married for
nearly 28 years.
In fact if you add all the
years of my marriages, I have more than 35 years of experience. Now, I have made
it my solemn policy to never, ever give opinions on whether or not someone
should or should not marry someone else. I feel in my heart that this is a
decision that everyone should make on their own and not drag others into it.
Kind of like thinking about jumping off of a cliff. This should be left to you.
That way they can never come back to you and blame you for what they did to
themselves. I don’t want anyone to ever be able to call me in the middle of the
night (it’s always the middle of the night when they call, isn’t it?) and
say something like…"Why did you tell me to marry her?" Or "Why
did you tell me to never speak to her again?" Nope, these are very
sensitive, individual decisions that must be made after thoroughly examining
your own soul. I can’t do this for you. Besides, I’m not the best person to
ask anyway.
My record wasn’t all that
great until I met my present wife. Anyway, as a newly wed male or able to be
newly wed, there are certain things that you need to know and to remember. One
of the first things is that men and women are different. Now, this isn’t news
to you, I’m sure. I’m not talking about physical differences; I’m talking
about in the way that they think. For example, men are totally content with the
house being decorated and staying the same for 20 or 25 years. We like sameness.
Women, on the other hand love change. After you are married, it’s only normal
for you to think that now that the house or apartment is furnished and
decorated, with the pictures all hung and all that stuff, that things will stay
the same. You couldn’t be more wrong. From the time you got the last nail into
the wall for the last picture until this very minute she has been plotting with
others of her sex to start changing your home, her nest.
Women, my friend are nest
builders. It’s instinct. They have to build and redecorate to fulfill some
ancient yearning that you and I don’t have. Don’t fight it; learn to live
with it. For example, here you are coasting along, happy as a clam, you got this
nice place, it’s all fixed up, and you’re ready to just kick back and chill
out for a couple of years. Guess what? It’s not going to happen. First thing
you’ll notice are the home decorating books. You see these at the checkout
stands in the grocery. 500 NEW house plans. Makeovers for YOUR bathroom. Add
your OWN sunroom. Use that ATTIC space. You CAN build a patio. Look around my
friend, smell the coffee. They don’t put these over in the section next to the
motor oil and duct tape. Nope, these are right there where every woman in
America can see them. If the FBI would put the pictures of the 10 most wanted
persons in the same place, we catch all of those folks in about 10 days, tops.
Face it, it’s a control thing. There isn’t any way out of it.
The more she finds to do to
the nest (read: house, apartment) the longer and harder we have to work. Want a
patio? Add 6 more months to your work career. Want an extra bedroom? Add about
another year. You get the picture. We either have to keep on working or get
smarter in what we do. Thus you see the proliferation of all of these Internet
related companies where the owners are young and making zillions of dollars.
These guys saw what happened to their parents and don’t want to make the same
mistakes. Good for them. I wish I’d have had sense enough to realize this
years ago.
You want children? Who
doesn’t? Just add more working years to your life, since you’ll need a
nursery, playroom and a backyard filled with jungle gym stuff that has ‘some
assembly required’. Want some advice on this item? Never, ever buy anything if
you don’t have to that says…SOME assembly required. These people lie. People
who’ve been married know there is assembly required. No, my friend, you might
as well face it, you’re caught. Try as you might you can’t escape. You’re
in this for the long haul and you might as well just grin and bear it. The
sooner you come to the realization that change is constant and that you will be
changing the things in your house until you die, the better off you’ll be.
It’s not a bad thing, just something you have to learn to deal with.
Remember, when the day comes
that they stop asking you to fix things or do things is the day they have given
up on you and think you’re either too old or about to die. Neither of which I
want to be anytime soon. Got to cut this short, I have to go move some plants.
Seems they were in the way of the newer plants that are in the back seat of the
car. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m headed to Paris for a vacation for
our 28th anniversary…see you in a week or so. Thanks. www.pearyperry.com.
|
|
