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Letters From North America |
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For questions or comments, please contact me at www.pearyperry.compperry@austin.rr.com |
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Letters From North America |
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For questions or comments, please contact me at www.pearyperry.compperry@austin.rr.com |
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I don’t know about you, but the hardest part of school for me were the word problems in math classes. If you remember they went something like this…”If two boats are sailing towards each other on the Mississippi River, and boat A is going 25 miles per hour and boat B is going 12 miles per hour and the wind is blowing at 8 miles per hour from the North West. How many bald headed me are on board boat B?” I could never figure out where to start working on one of these. Same thing with the assembly instructions on some kinds of furniture. “Insert tab C into part labeled 124, then turn over and put tabs M, N, O, P into parts 36 and 44 before you inset tab S into part 12.” I just pay more to have it assembled before it gets to me. I figure this cuts down on therapy bills. I suppose the point I’m trying to make here is that I don’t think I am capable of handling really complicated situations. As a result of this determination, I know for a fact that I am not capable of understanding the plots of day time soap operas. In the paper each week is a summary of what has happened during the past week. I suppose this is for those people who have been in a coma or on the space shuttle or something. Anyway, I am going to use initials only here, but I’d like to give you a short rundown on what happened in a few of these programs. (GL) “After Drew decided to end the search for her father, Ben offered to find the man for her, then he later realized he may be the father.” Well, hello. We are to believe that this woman named Drew is old enough to hire or ask someone to locate her long lost missing father and asks for help from Ben. Ben offers to help, and then realizes that the man he is looking for may be himself. How does this work? Wasn’t Ben around some years ago? Didn’t Ben know about Drew? Isn’t there any kind of family resemblance from Ben to Drew? The plot goes on…”When Selena went to see Ben about the possibility he could be Drew’s father, she fell down the wine cellar steps, which Dietz had loosened in an effort to get rid of Ben at Pilar’s request.” So, now we have Pilar (?) trying to do Ben in, because she (Pilar) is sure that Ben is really the father of Drew and Dietz is trying to help her (Pilar) kill Ben for the terrible deed. I haven’t a clue as to who Dietz is and why he is involved in the attempted murder. Anyway, back to the plot…”Now Selena has learned she is paralyzed. Danny (?) and Phillip (?) plotted against Ben (everyone is after this old boy) after Danny nixed Ben’s suggestion that he take Danny’s place in the family business.” So, is Ben a good guy or a bad guy? Is Danny a creep or what? Did Dietz get hired by Pilar with Danny’s knowledge? Will 8 track tapes ever come back? (Just wanted to see if you are reading and keeping up). If you think what I have said so far is confusing, wait until you read this…”Harley is helping Blake hide from everyone (Drew, Ben, Pilar, Selena, Danny and Philip?) until she has her baby.” Whose baby is this? Has Ben been by to see Harley? Does Dietz know about this? Does Harley have a wine cellar and some stairs? What does Pilar know about Harley? Does Harley know Drew? Does Selena care that Harley is pregnant and in hiding. Does God make little green apples? (Another test, these will be coming more and more frequently, so try and keep up with this). Now we read that ..”Edmund, who is alive (these shows must be violent) twice failed in his attempts to kidnap Jonathan, who he (Edmund?) plans to eliminate. (Isn’t this another word for kill?) and Reva (?) has returned to Springfield with Olivia after arranging with Olivia for Jonathan to be taken away and raised by his adoptive parents. Before leaving San Cristobel, Reva left Richard (?) a note about Jonathan.” Well, there you have it. Fairly simple isn’t it. I mean you just have to study this for a few months and it becomes crystal clear doesn’t it? Looks to me like all of this could be resolved, if all of these folks would just agree to sit down and go through some confrontational therapy. Probably not. How in the world can people keep up with these things and more importantly why would you want to? I have enough conflict in my daily life without adding more fuel to the fire. I have just read the summary of 1 out of 11 in the paper today. The others look a little more bizarre, but I couldn’t figure out how to understand them enough to get them into a column that made any sense. Kind of like trying to get tab B into part # 124…..I can’t do it, and still can’t figure out how many bald headed guys were on those boats. What do you suppose was in that note that Reva gave to Richard about Jonathan? Was Reva, Richard or Jonathan baldheaded? Is the real meaning of life really inside of a Twinkie? If you have the answer to any of these questions or would like competent advice on any legal topic, feel free to write to me at www.pearyperry.com. If you want me to explain nuclear physics or some plot on “As The World Turns.” forget it.