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Letters From North America |
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Watching some old (1970’s) cop show the other night and I got to noticing how much we have changed in just 20 or so years. First off, nearly everyone had hair. Lots of hair. Big hair. We don’t wear polyester shirts and leisure suits any longer. Were those things ugly or what? Truth to tell, I thought I looked great in one or two of them. Maybe, even three or four of them. God, they were hot. It was almost like being wrapped in plastic. Of course, I suppose that’s what polyester is, some form of plastic. I didn’t smoke, but you could always tell who did, since they’d have big burn holes in their pants or skirts where they had dropped an ash from their cigarette. Sometimes it seemed their whole legs would just flame up in a restaurant. Wasn’t funny then, but seems kind of humorous now. Also noticed that offices didn’t have computer terminals everywhere. Look for this, it’s really weird. Look at some movie from this era and look around. No fax machines, no high speed copy stuff and most noticeable no cell phones. You can’t pull up to an intersection today, without having at least one person along side of you talking away on his or her phone. Very strange not to see this in a movie. No one could afford a cell phone in the 70’s. In the kitchen scenes, look at what we were cooking on, maybe 20 years ago. Not a microwave in sight. Everyone had to use a stovetop and an oven. If you had a baby, you got up in the middle of the night and put a bottle into a little ceramic heater device. Then you stood around and waited for 10-15 minutes for the thing to heat up the bottle. All the time Junior was screaming his/her head off. Nowadays, you just pop that little sucker into the old nuke machine and wait a few seconds and soon everyone is back in bed. Progress, real progress. Another thing about our changing times. What’s with all of these warnings everywhere? The other day, I was in some antique shop and saw a bunch of posters and advertisements from years and years ago. Next time you get a chance, look at these. Lots and lots of white space. Big letters. All kinds of big pictures and photographs. No fine print anywhere to be seen. Now, pick up a magazine of any sort. Turn to some advertisement. I’ll bet you there is at least a warning of some kind. They seem to be everywhere. Look at what you get when you pump gas. There must be 3-4 of them all around you…”Don’t drink this.” Why, how stupid do they think we are? “Why just the other day, I was thinking about going to the old gas station and drinking a gallon or so of premium. Regular gives me gas.” Little joke there, I couldn’t resist. On the drug ads, it usually takes up another whole page for their warnings. ” Side effects may include, heartburn, weight gain, hair loss, diarrhea, stiffness of joints, itching, blurred vision, tooth decay, and many other things we may have forgotten to tell you about.” Makes me think that the cure is sometimes worse than whatever was ailing you in the first place. Look at the ads for investments. In big letters you’ll see ‘ 45% annual returns.’ In lots smaller print, usually at the bottom, you’ll see…’Previous returns are not indicative of future earnings.’ This simply means that once we get YOUR money, OUR return will be good, but yours won’t be so hot. Seems like some of these funds do really good for a couple of years and then just drop off the face of the world. Almost like they sit around and decide to go after the big money and then once they get it, they just go down the drain. I sometimes get to wondering if this is on purpose or not. You think if we had as many lawyers in the 1800’s as we do today, we´d have warnings on horses and stagecoaches? I can see a big sticker on a horse’s rump, right beside the saddle…..”Warning, operating this animal in an unsafe manner may result in injury or death. Do not exceed posted speed limits. Proper maintenance will prolong the life of this animal.” The stage coaches would be easy to do…”Do NOT stick your hands out of this coach while it is moving. Wait until this coach has come to a complete stop before attempting to exit. We are not responsible for loss of property or life due to robbers or Indians. No unauthorized personnel may ride with the driver. You are responsible for your own luggage.” It’d be interesting to see how the language printed on steamship tickets changed after the Titanic went down. I’ll just be willing to bet that you’d find more…’terms and conditions.’ on the tickets issued after the tragedy. More fine print. It’ll be interesting to see what happens in 10-15 years. I’ll probably have to issue some kind of humor warning with this column. “Warning reading this may make you laugh, or it may not. The writer isn’t responsible for your reaction.” |
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For questions or comments, please contact me at www.pearyperry.compperry@austin.rr.com |
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