Letters From North America |
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A friend of mine, somewhat older than me is moving from one house to another. Using the wisdom he has gained over the years, he told me that during this trying time, he thinks he will have to be in New York on business, or somewhere, anywhere, but here. Not that he wouldn’t help; it’s just that he can’t. In fact most men aren’t any use at all when it comes time to move. In doing the exhaustive research that I put into these columns each and every week, I have found the reason for this quirk of nature. It’s very simple…..men don’t want to make decisions on where stuff should go. In many cases, it’s just much simpler to pick up, leave everything and start all over somewhere else. If you will notice that throughout time, great warriors such as Gengis Khan, and Alexander the Great kept re-locating their base of operations every few years. I think that if we checked, we would find that wars have been started because some wife walked in one day and said…”Honey let’s go look at a new house.” At which time, Caesar might have said something like…”Sorry Honey, but I’ve got to see about some business in Egypt…you do whatever you think best and I’ll be back in a few years or so. Call if you need anything.” Look at Napoleon, just after he married Josephine, he changed his mind about declaring war on the English and was gone for the better part of 10 years. Most of these warlike moves were to the west. In fact I think it was Attila the Hungry who coined the phrase “Go west young man…” or something like that. All of the great world leaders of history kept moving westward in the hope that they could avoid having to rearrange furniture. This accounts for the time changes that we now have. My research shows that, man in his never ending efforts to choose where the couch should go, followed the sun to his next place of residence. I know this sounds silly, but did you ever hear of anyone in recorded history moving east? No, of course not. They all figured that if they headed to the west, they would have more daylight to continue the search for the happy hunting grounds. Incidentally the Indian word for “happy Hunting Grounds” is KowatahaahaaKemoSabe…or in plain English…”Building with nothing to move.” Moving furniture was often used as a form of torture in ancient times. That old song about “Tote that barge, lift that bale” was originally…”Tote that chair and lift that table.” ….” but it lost something in it’s translation from Greek to English. In fact, if you go back and look at those 2 founders of Rome…Romeo and Uncle Remus, you’ll see that very little is known of their adult lives. That’s because, once they married, they found that their wives wanted them to build new palaces. and they took off for Spain or the Rivera. I don’t wish to sound sexist, but look at true facts. The two founders of Rome probably married well above their stations. After all, weren’t they (Romeo and Uncle Remus) raised in the cain by an old mama lion? No, wait that’s another story. I think a mother wolf raised these boys. Which means she was a den mother. So there you probably have the beginning of the Cub Scouts. But, enough of this, back to our story. Here are 2 boys who grow up living in a cave. They probably had very humble tastes in furniture. A rock here, a limb there. Nothing fancy, just functional. Then they marry 2 city girls, who want big palaces, lots of stuff and a few hundred servants. I’m certain this pushed the boys over the edge and they decided to pull up stakes and get the heck out of Dodge or Rome, as it was called in those days. Truth to tell, they probably ran off and joined the circus. I remember something about some Circus Maximus in Rome. Makes sense to me. Anytime you need to know more about history, just call on me. |
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