Just call me Scrooge

ah, Humbug…so just call me Scrooge or the Grinch or whatever. What you’re about to read is bound to make someone out there upset and probably mad, but you know what’ I don’t care. Sue me.

In the past several days, I have been noticing that our country, in order to be politically correct, has taken to calling this time of the year…The Holiday Season. We now have a Holiday Tree. We’re sending out Holiday cards. We’re singing Holiday tunes. We’re eating Holiday food.

I hate to burst your bubble, buddy, but the correct name for all of this, according to me is Christmas. Try as you might, it’s the Christmas tree, we send Christmas cards, we sing Christmas carols, and yes… Tiny Tim, we eat Christmas dinners.

You can name it what you want, you can change what you want, but the real reason for the season is Christmas…the celebration of Christ. Get it’ Christ…. Christmas’ That’s the way it is and that’s the way it’s going to be, no matter what you say or how much you try to change it. The star or the angel on the top of the tree at my house isn’t going to be replaced with a model of a ’57 Chevy.

I’m not saying that everyone else can’t have a holiday of their own to celebrate, but leave mine alone. I’m not trying to change the Jewish celebration of Chanukah to something generic. What they believe in is their business and doesn’t offend me in the least. More power to them. Same goes for Kwanzaa. If some folks want to celebrate, dance and sing songs when the full moon comes out, that’s fine with me. I don’t feel the urge to go out and try and change the lyrics to their songs just because I might not agree with them.

So, why are certain groups in this country trying to change my holiday’ Yesterday I heard that some groups in California (it figures) are banning Christmas carols in favor of Holiday tunes. So, no more ‘Little Town of Bethlehem’ or ‘Away in a Manger’, which is apparently distasteful to some and should be replaced with ‘Frosty the Snowman’ and ‘Baby, It’s cold outside.’. Having Holiday songs certainly rules out our collective singing of ‘White Christmas’ since the title contains the big, bad politically incorrect “C” word. As Flo used to say…”You folks can just kiss my grits.”

What a shame that as a nation we have wimped down to the point in which we are so afraid of hurting anyone’s feelings, we compromise on everything to the point of cultural blandness. I suppose if this practice keeps up, we’ll most likely see other changes as well.

Valentine Day will most likely be changed to something called “Love day” or even “Like Day” so we don’t offend those poor traumatized children and adults who didn’t get or won’t get some candy and a card from some unknown admirer. Heaven help us that this should happen. Perhaps we need to set up some new Federal agency to insure that no child or adult gets left behind and that everyone receives some gift form someone, even if it’s from some non caring computerized governmental agency. Bah, Humbug.

Mothers Day and Fathers Day should be changed to something that might not offend those who had a bad relationship with their parents. We might want to lobby for these to be called something like “Significant People Day”. That way you get to name the person you feel was most important in your life. That gives everyone the option of leaving out their parents without having any guilt.

Memorial Day’ Can’t have that anymore…. wouldn’t be fair to honor those who died or served in defense of our country when some of our citizens choose to flee the country or hide out. Let’s call it something like “Remembrance Day” so we can all be equal no matter what our individual preferences happen to be at the time or the level of our commitment towards the country. After all, those who stayed at home and refused to fight for our country helped keep the economy going by eating out and going to the movies.

Independence Day’ Let’s just drop that one. It’s too old and out of date. No one cares what a bunch of old men did a couple of hundred years ago. What they wrote and what they believed isn’t really relative to our modern times anyway, is it’ Why… just look at their music and they way they dressed…what good could possibly come from setting a day aside in response to their bravery and accomplishments’

Labor Day’ Has to go, not fair to those who are unemployed or who MIGHT become unemployed.

Halloween’ I don’t like the word ‘Hallow’ …seems to me to be connected with something religious. Need to rename this something like …”Fright Night”.

Thanksgiving’ No way that can stand. Giving thanks to our creator, is a definitely a big no- no and is certain to offend just about everyone in the world who doesn’t believe in some form of God. Nope, can’t take a day off to just sit down with our families and be grateful for all of the blessings we’ve received.

As idiotic as these might seem, trust me, there is a concerted effort on the part of a portion of our population who believe our traditions, beliefs and history should be reconstructed so as not to offend anyone. You have the right to believe whatever you want, I respect that. You don’t have the right to change what I believe. I’ll leave yours alone…how about you doing the same’