 If
you’ve read this column for any length of time, by now you know that I
believe in God. I also believe that there is a heaven and that’s where I’m
headed when my time arrives. I’ll get into why I believe that at some
other time. Anyway, once we get there (I tend to think there will be a lot
of folks at this place) I don’t think we’ll just be sitting around
plunking harps or floating on a cloud all day. Nope, I tend to believe
that we’ll have lots of stuff to keep us busy for a very long time.
Now, what that stuff is, I’m not at all
certain, but I hope it includes some quality time with God to sit down and
ask about some things that I’ve had on my mind for a long time. We
probably won’t get a direct one on one meeting with God Himself since he
is really busy making things and doing all of the stuff that God needs to
get done. I’d be happy just to meet with one of His advisors or staff
people who could answer some of these questions.
I for one, happen to believe that God
didn’t make any mistakes in His creation process, but there are some
things that I’m kind of curious about. For example, the platypus, what’s
with this animal? It seems to be a combination of several different types
of creatures? Was this an earlier version, say 1.0 of something else, like
a kangaroo? What happened here? Can’t be a design flaw, but it sure is odd
isn’t it? How about our appendix? If we can go and get it yanked out
because we don’t need it or use it for anything, then what was it there
for in the first place? Did we use it for something a long time ago and
that time has passed or what? I’m concerned about having parts that can be
removed without any problems. It’s kind of like taking a car engine apart
and putting it back together but having 3 or 4 left over parts. Why were
they there in the first place and won’t I need them at some point in time
in the future?
A car part you can replace, but my appendix
is long gone. These problems aren’t nearly as important to me as being
able to ask about ear and nose hair. Now, you can tell by my photo (if
there is one with this column) that I haven’t had hair on the top of my
head for a long time. That’s ok with me and I haven’t missed it at all.
What is a pain is the fact that it seems like once you lose the hair on
your head it starts to grow profusely from both your ears and your nose. I
don’t think women have this problem; if they do they manage to keep it a
secret since I’ve never heard them discuss it. Men however are plagued by
this constant growth that will soon look like a brillo pad if not properly
maintained.
Here you have zero hair growth on top of
your head and this stuff that will grow to your knees in 48 hours coming
out of your ears and nose. It’s almost like bamboo, you can actually sit
in front of a mirror and watch it grow. Now, why is this? Did the brain
get confused? Did something happen to switch the head hair gene to quit
work and make the nose and ear hair gene get active all of the sudden? You
know if we left this stuff to grow on it’s own it’d be poking out all over
the place in no time at all. Looks like it’d have been dangerous to
primitive man before scissors were invented. Seems to me that you’d have a
hard time hearing with all of that brush in your ears. Some tiger or bear
could easily pounce on you before you could hear anything at all. You may
tell me that those cavemen guys just pulled those babies out with their
fingers and I’ll tell you that’s just crazy. Nobody is that mean and
tough. I guess I’ll have to wait until I die to get these questions
answered. I’d also like to know why men’s ear lobes start to sag? As
always, you can reach me at www.pearyperry.com. |
