I must have been absent the week they handed out instructions on how to make a million and retire early.

 

Seems to me I might have been sick that week, but I don’t really remember. They should have had a makeup class or something. I suppose it’s too late to sue anyone, but I should look into it anyway. Were you there’did you learn anything’ Maybe we should think about a class action lawsuit.

Having said all of that, I am left with my own wits to come up with some scheme to relieve me of my daily toil and trouble and allow me to live the rest of my days in the lap of luxury. Or if not in the lap of luxury, then maybe on the couch of getting by without much work.

It’s way too late for me to try and become a doctor or a lawyer. I can’t make an Indian chief either since I’ m not qualified. I can’t teach, so that’s not an option. Not smart enough to design any type of electronics. Too na’ e to be a politician. Too old to be in the Army.

So, that leaves me with the options of trying to think up something clever to do in business that no one has thought of before. However, most of my good ideas have already been taken. For example, some years ago, I thought up an idea for making computers work faster and easier, but Bill Gates beat me to the punch on that one. I remember I was stalled trying to get a grip on something those guys call ‘ code’ or ‘ programming. I could have been rich by now if I had gotten past that little hurdle. Same thing with video games and microwaves. I had an idea for those years ago, but can’t remember what it was that stopped me from finishing my design work. Another lost opportunity. I wonder if someone has been stealing my ideas’

Well, here’s one I’ m letting you in on right now, you look for this to come out since I’ m certain it will be hot. I’ll bet I’ll have all kinds of folks swarming over what I’ m about to tell you. This will rank right up there with the Hula-Hoop. Or maybe delivery pizza, take your pick.

Ready for this’

Ok, bear with me while I explain this novel concept. In the mornings, you go to a donut shop to pick up donuts, right’ You don’t go there in the afternoon, do you’ Of course not. So, what does a donut maker do in the afternoon’ Nothing, right’

In the afternoon you go to a place that makes tamales, right’ But what does a tamale shop guy do in the morning’ Nothing again, right’so, why not have a store that sells donuts until noon and a tamale shop that sells tamales in the afternoon’ Looks to me like that would be a winner. Have people coming in all times of the day rather than just half a day. Better use of the store and the help doesn’t have to work part time.

Now, while I’ m thinking about this ingenious concept I get another brainstorm’ why not design the space so that you could also sell fireworks on the fourth of July and New Years, and the other half of the place sell Christmas tree decorations’ I mean this is kind of a blend of several products available year around for the benefit of the American consumer. How can you lose on this idea’ Kind of a mini-mall with just one stop.

Instead of having four stores selling stuff at different times of the day and year, we have just one store selling all four products in one location. We could throw in a dry cleaners and a film drop off as well. Might even branch out into making copies for businesses. How about some little mailboxes for rent’ Have your car washed while you order your donuts or tamales to be sacked up after you drop off your cleaning and are checking your mail’

I just need to think up a name for this kind of a deal. If you have any suggestions, let me know.

I wonder how I can get my hands on a gas pump and some washers and dryers’stay tuned, this could be big.you heard it first right here.